How to be a good friend

Friendship entails treating someone with the same care and consideration as you would yourself. It involves honesty and understanding when to offer support and when to stand firm. Following these principles not only makes you a good friend but also a great companion to have around.

1. You can go to a pity party

Navigating a friendship when the other person has experienced a recent traumatic incident can pose challenges in determining whether to offer support or give them space to process. Recognizing the cues indicating whether they need a comforting hug or some empathy is key to becoming a supportive friend.

While some individuals may respond positively to a gentle push forward, others may require more nurturing to help them cope and regain their footing.

How to be a good friend

2. You know when to make vodka lemonade out of lemons

There are individuals who linger in resentment for years without taking action. In such instances, rather than joining their self-pity session, it’s essential to arrive with vodka lemonade to transform their negative outlook.

Occasionally, people require a perspective shift and a gentle nudge to let go and move forward. It’s about showing them that their circumstances aren’t as dire as they perceive.

3. Have heavy shoulders

Being friends with someone can often leave you vulnerable to getting hurt feelings. Your friend may experience tough times or drama, and these situations don’t always bring out their best side. Sometimes, they might need a safe space to unload their frustrations, and as a friend, you’re likely to be the first person they turn to.

While it can be challenging, there are moments when you have to allow them to vent, even if it feels like they’re directing their frustration at you. Being a supportive friend sometimes means being a sounding board for their emotions and being there to absorb their troubles, even if it feels burdensome.

4. Be honest

If you find yourself disagreeing with their perspective or witnessing them clinging to the belief that they were justified, it’s important to be truthful with them. While it may be uncomfortable to confront your friend about seeing their boyfriend with someone else, being a good friend means being honest, even when it’s painful. Just be sure to offer your support and help them through the aftermath of the revelation

5. Don’t say what they want to hear, but what they need to hear

At times, we seek advice from friends who craft the most appealing narrative. This implies that we prefer to hear what we desire rather than what we should.

Being perceived as the “good guy” is comforting, but it may not always serve the best interests of our friends.

Opting to convey what someone needs to hear can be a challenging path to take. Yet, to truly embody the qualities of a good friend, it’s crucial to communicate what they may find difficult to hear rather than what simply pleases them.

6. Only play devil’s advocate when it is warranted

We all have those friends who excel at providing different perspectives and offering alternative viewpoints. Sometimes, this can be beneficial, helping us see things from a different angle. However, there are instances when it may come across as invalidating our feelings or dismissing our pain.

Playing devil’s advocate can sometimes feel unsupportive. In such situations, it might be more appropriate to simply listen, acknowledge their feelings, and wait for the right moment to share another perspective.

7. Be there not only for the parties, but when the music dies

During the good times, everyone can be a good friend, enjoying life’s festivities. Yet, true friends are those who remain steadfast even after the celebrations have ended.

It’s easy to be present during the fun moments, but being there to lend a hand when the party is over requires genuine care and consideration. Be the friend who stays long after the crowd has dispersed, showing lasting commitment.

How to be a good friend

8. Don’t always give in

Understanding how to be a supportive friend doesn’t solely entail sacrificing your own needs and desires. Acting as a martyr doesn’t automatically qualify you as a good friend.

Often, individuals who adopt a martyr mentality do so in an attempt to earn approval through excessive niceness, rather than by authentically being themselves. You don’t need to serve as someone’s emotional punching bag to be a good friend; genuine friendship transcends such dynamics.

9. Respect their space

There may come moments when your friend seems too clingy, or the connection isn’t flowing smoothly. Being a supportive friend entails recognizing when it’s time to step back and allow your friend some breathing room.

Bombarding them with messages when they’re clearly seeking space can strain the relationship and possibly push your friend further away.

10. Make them a priority

If you commit to plans with a friend, it’s important to honor those commitments. While it might be tempting to cancel for a date with someone you’ve admired for a long time, your friend would likely appreciate your honesty and understanding.

However, consistently failing to make firm plans or constantly seeking alternative options suggests a lack of genuine friendship and hints at superficiality.

11. Understand and be empathetic when they are going through a rough time

Understanding how to be a good friend includes prioritizing your friend’s needs over your own. For instance, if your friend is experiencing a breakup, suggesting a chick flick might not be the most empathetic choice. True empathy involves being able to see things from your friend’s perspective.

How to be a good friend

12. Make sure the relationship is going both ways

It’s not always true that people with similar interests naturally gravitate towards each other. If you’re someone who loves the mountains while they prefer leisurely Sunday afternoon drives, strive to accommodate their preferences as much as they accommodate yours. Being a good friend means being equally present and supportive of each other’s interests and needs.

13. Don’t dominate the drama

We each know that friend who consistently brings drama into our lives. While they can be entertaining, sometimes their presence feels like nothing more than a show.

If you find yourself being the center of drama, it might be beneficial to take a step back and allow others to take the spotlight for a change. While drama can be enjoyable occasionally, if it dominates your interactions and conversations, it’s likely to become tiresome sooner rather than later.

14. Do the small things to brighten their day

Being a supportive friend involves maintaining an awareness of your friendships. It’s not always feasible to call or meet up regularly. Yet, if you realize it’s been a while since your last interaction, a simple text saying “hi” can go a long way in letting them know they’re on your mind.

In our fast-paced lives, it’s common to get caught up in busyness and lose touch with loved ones. However, it’s important not to assume they’ll always be available.

Express your appreciation for them by engaging in special gestures that uphold your bond and remind them of your connection.

How to be a good friend

15. Don’t be possessive

It can be challenging when a new individual joins your social circle or when you witness your best friend forming connections with someone new. A fundamental aspect of being a good friend involves allowing your friend to cultivate multiple friendships. Different people cater to various aspects of our lives and needs.

Recognize that no single person can fulfill all your needs, nor can you fulfill all theirs. Try not to take it personally if you discover that your friend attended an event without inviting you or engaged in activities without extending an invitation.

Friendship isn’t a competition; it’s about mutual support and understanding. Both of you should have diverse friendships to meet the various facets and requirements of life.

16. Let things slide

Try to avoid having sensitive triggers or taking things too seriously. For a friendship to thrive, it’s essential to be adaptable and go with the flow. Even if you feel hurt or sensitive at times, it’s important to address issues or forgive when necessary.

Holding onto emotional baggage only drains your energy and doesn’t contribute to strengthening your friendship. It weighs you down and can lead to distant behavior.

Being a good friend involves reciprocity. While it’s natural to prioritize our own perspectives and desires, true friendship requires finding a balance between giving and taking care of yourself while also considering the needs of others.

The golden rule, “treat others as you would like to be treated,” remains valuable advice. Although it’s challenging, there are instances where you may need to assert yourself or make tough decisions for the sake of the friendship.

How to be a good friend

17. Always be cautious with who you date

It should go without saying, but it’s crucial never to pursue a romantic relationship with a friend’s former partner. No matter how much you may be drawn to them, entering into such a relationship is off-limits. Consider the emotional turmoil it would inflict on your friend. Can you envision the resentment and hurt it would inevitably spark?

In all seriousness, the fallout from such a decision isn’t worth it. Not only would it strain your friendship, but it would also create unnecessary tension with your new partner. Instead, focus on finding someone who doesn’t come with this kind of history.

18. Always stay true to who you are and don’t accidentally morph into your friend

This may seem unusual, but it’s surprising how many best friends end up resembling each other closely.

Spending significant time together often leads to shared preferences. However, it’s essential to maintain your individuality. Unintentionally mirroring each other can create discomfort for your friend and potentially disrupt your friendship.

How to be a good friend

19. Key rule: If you go together, you leave together

Interested in learning the art of friendship? Abide by the golden rule: never abandon your best friend. Whether you’re out together, ensure you depart and return home as a pair.

Bailing on your friend under any circumstances is simply not acceptable. Regardless of meeting someone captivating, prioritize your friend! You can always exchange contact information and arrange to meet another time.

20. Go to battle for your friend if you have to

If you catch someone gossiping about your friend behind their back, it’s your responsibility to stand up for them. Naturally, you anticipate the same support from them in return.

Whether your friend is present or miles away, it’s important to defend their reputation. Allowing someone to spread negative talk about your friend without taking action isn’t acceptable.

So, be ready to step in and defend your friend’s honor! That’s a fundamental aspect of being a loyal friend.

21. It’s your responsibility to tell her if she has lipstick on her teeth

Strange, yet factual! Always ensure your friend isn’t unknowingly carrying around anything embarrassing on her face, body, or elsewhere.

Whether it’s a piece of sandwich wedged between her teeth or her lipstick has wandered astray across her face, be honest and inform her. And if her skirt happens to be tucked in, revealing her underwear, it’s crucial to let her know! After all, you’d expect the same consideration from her, wouldn’t you?

How to be a good friend

22. NEVER let a guy take over your girl time

It’s quite irksome when a friend becomes consumed with discussing their new romantic interest incessantly. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s crucial to reassess your behavior promptly.

Certainly, feel free to share pertinent details about your new relationship, but ensure your friend never feels sidelined or neglected. Avoid canceling plans with your friend to prioritize your newfound crush. Additionally, refrain from monopolizing conversations with endless praise for your partner.

Keep in mind that time spent with friends holds immense value and should be respected as such.

23. Your lips are sealed

Never divulge any information your friend confides in you. Regardless of how tempting the gossip may be, you must keep it strictly confidential.

Sharing something your friend shared in confidence, even unintentionally, is a breach of their trust.

It’s a fundamental rule: refrain from gossiping. Avoid speaking ill of your friend behind their back or revealing anything about them that they wouldn’t want others to know. As a precaution, it’s best to keep quiet about everything.